She’s Not Your Enemy: Why God Gifts Us All Differently
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“Moses also said to Korah, “Now listen, you Levites! Isn’t it enough for you that the God of Israel has separated you from the rest of the Israelite community and brought you near himself to do the work at the Lord’s Tabernacle and to stand before the community and minister to them? He has brought you and all your fellow Levites near himself, but now you are trying to get the priesthood too. It is against the Lord that you and all your followers have banded together. Who is Aaron that you should grumble against him” (Numbers 16:8-11, NIV)?
My battle with jealousy started in middle school. While most girls competed with good looks or stylish outfits, I wanted to be known for my grades. I began chasing not only straight-A’s but a 4.0 GPA.
This goal had some benefits and made me the driven person I am today, but it also significantly hindered who I believed I was. My identity was quickly found in what I could do or achieve instead of who God says I am. I wonder if you can relate.
By the time I was in high school, I realized that my identity didn’t come from grades or popularity, but the one who created me. Nevertheless, I still struggled. Not only was I obsessed with being perfect, but I started to compare myself to others—especially other Christians. Instead of seeing these individuals as brothers and sisters in Christ, I saw them as competition.
If she was gifted in singing, I needed to be a better singer.
If he could run a mile in 7 minutes, I needed to run one in 6.
If she could do the splits and a grand jeté with ease, I would do one higher.
And yet, as hard as I worked and strived, my achievements left me feeling nothing but empty inside. Why? Because I wasn’t just dissatisfied with myself. I was dissatisfied with the unique talents God had given me. I was essentially saying to the Lord, “Thanks for gifting me, but it’s not enough. I need to be like her.”
