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I’m almost embarrassed to admit it, but I’ve joined the teen bandwagon of fangirling and obsessing over fictional characters this summer. Though The Summer I Turned Pretty has been popular for the last few years, the final season is bringing heat hotter than soaring August temperatures. While banters for Team Bonrad or Team Jelly exist, perhaps a deeper question is brought into the light: Are we choosing character over chemistry? And should we?
If you’re unfamiliar with the hit show, The Summer I Turned Pretty is three seasons long, produced by Netflix. It’s based on Jenny Han’s book, The Summer I Turned Pretty, but readers note that the show and book often pale in comparison. Belly, short for Isabella Susannah Conklin, has always been one of the guys. Every summer, her mom would take her to Cousins to reunite at the lake house. Susannah, whom Belly’s middle name comes from, has two boys: Conrad and Jeremiah. And to them, she’s just one of the boys. Until she isn’t.
Suddenly, Cupid has his arrow and shots are being fired. Over the next three seasons, Belly struggles to find herself and who she should be in love with. She loved Conrad from childhood, but after their breakup, it was Jeremiah who was patiently pining away for her as he always had. Without spilling too many spoilers, season three brings this love triangle to a head with a wedding: Belly is engaged to Jeremiah Fisher, but does her heart still beat on and off for Conrad?
Though TSITP fans attempt to turn fiction into reality, this plot line reflects modern dating dilemmas and the value we often place on emotional chemistry vs. character. Jeremiah is stable for Belly in seasons 1 and 2, but his character comes into question as he strives for his dad’s approval in season 3.
In contrast, Conrad seems to have grown up from seasons 1 and 2. Where he previously didn’t know or understand himself, let alone how to process grief, panic attacks, and emotions, season 3 shows a now chisled and mature medical student: He’s gone to therapy, learned how to cook, and how to process his emotions in healthy ways. But, he still hasn’t confessed his lasting love for Belly. Because he can’t break the promise he made on his mother’s deathbed to care for her and Jeremiah to the end. And this brings up one important and life-changing point for us as Christians: While chemistry can be new, fresh, fun, and exciting, Scripture reminds us that character is the foundation for true, steadfast, and lasting love.
The Allure of Chemistry (Conrad)
Up until season 3, Conrad has given off the “bad boy” vibe. Belly has been in love with him since she could walk, but he plays hard to get. Hiding his true feelings behind smouldering faces and petty fights, Belly longs for a deep emotional connection with Conrad.
On the screen, their chemistry is evident. There is an excitement and intensity that comes with infatuation. Even in their dating, this playfulness is explored and shown well. It takes Conrad a long time to lower his guard and show how he’s feeling when things get tough. Sadly, it’s his unwillingness to express his true emotions that leads to his and Belly’s breakup. When he finds out his mom is dying, he doesn’t want to bring Belly down. Instead of saying that, they break up at prom and have an argument later that year at the funeral.
Sadly, relationships often work like this in real life, but they shouldn’t. Proverbs 14:12 notes that there is a way that seems right to a person, but this is a path that ends in death. Friends, strong feelings, or even the best chemistry aren’t enough for wisdom. I’m not saying I’m anti-team Conrad, or pro-team Jeremiah, but I’m saying that wisdom is needed in modern-day relationships, just as, if not more than, chemistry. Chemistry can be cultivated and grown over time, but both parties need to be mature and have a sense of their identity before trying to merge two lives into one.