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“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13, NIV).
It was the night before my publishing meeting, but I couldn’t sleep. As exhaustion settled over me, so did the innumerable racing thoughts. Lying awake, constant what-ifs filled my eyelids like counting sheep:
What if they still don’t offer me a contract?
What if they do and I fail?
What if I’m only a one-hit wonder?
What if I can’t do this?
What if my first books suck?
What if I never get another book deal?
Can you relate? No matter the circumstance or situation, you’ve probably faced times in your life when you couldn’t sleep. Whether it was from anxiety, depression, or just good old nerves, when our minds won’t slow down, it typically means we’re preoccupied thinking about something else. And as awful as those feelings are, we need to normalize these experiences without minimizing them. Because it matters. And you matter. But those thoughts are just thoughts—they cannot actually hurt us.
In Jeremiah 29:13, we read these words: “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (NIV). Written to the exiled Israelites, these words remind us that those who seek the Lord wholeheartedly will find Him. Our efforts must be sincere, but when we reach out to Him, He does hear us. Because our God is an accessible God who desires a personal and intimate relationship with each of us.
Despite our greatest fears, anxieties, and what ifs, I believe that when we cry out to the Lord, He hears us. But when we cry out, we must be honest with Him about the feelings capturing our souls.
If you’re filled with worries and a mind that won’t slow down today, I’d encourage you to name the anxiety, tension, or fear honestly. And regardless of misbelief, anxiety isn’t just worry, but a full-body experience. We can come to our Savior openly and honestly, acknowledging both the emotional and physical pain this is causing. In return, we can remove the shame: Faith and anxiety can coexist, and the Lord cares about our suffering.
Instead of beating ourselves up for feeling or continuing to wallow in our suffering, let us remember that God’s words in Jeremiah 29:13, and verses like Philippians 4:6–7 or Matthew 6:25–34 emphasize commands not to stop feeling, but to invite God into those spaces. After all, God created us, including our complex range of emotions. He knows what we’re experiencing. But again, He wants us to come to Him as we are, even if that includes a million what-ifs, anxieties, and fears.
As humans, there’s a very real tension between “don’t be anxious” and “I still feel anxious.” Especially for those of us fighting clinical mental health disorders, we may even feel shame and pressure from those who don’t truly understand. But here’s the truth: Honest faith holds both truth and struggle. Honest faith tells God, “I’m anxious,” but also says, “Please sit with me here.”