Unpacking Shame: Chronic Illness, Mental Illness, and the Roots of Pain
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Unpacking Shame
But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. (1 Corinthians 1:27).
The first time I encountered shame wasn’t due to physical pain but a mental illness diagnosis. At the time, I asked my pastor for prayer but was dumbfounded when he told me my anxiety and depression were in my head. He knew I also suffered from chronic physical pain, but something about this mind dysfunction was my fault; I wasn’t trusting God enough and certainly didn’t have enough faith. Can you relate?
Though it’s been years since that incident, I’ll never forget the doubt and fear that I wasn’t a good enough Christian to be healed. Intellectually, I knew that my pastor was wrong. Bad things happen to good people all the time, and it isn’t always from sin or a lack of faith. Just look at Job in the Bible: a man highly esteemed by God but who also faced deep mental and physical pain in times of great loss.
If you are struggling with shame today (whether from mental or physical pain or chronic health issues), I encourage you about two things:
- Shame is not from God.
- Jesus understands your pain.
SHAME IS NOT FROM GOD
From the beginning of time, it was Satan (our enemy and accuser) who brought shame to our existence. It was the serpent who asked Eve, “Did God really say…?” (Genesis 3:1) and caused her and her husband to hide because they were afraid (Genesis 3:10). It’s Satan who tells us we should be ashamed of our struggles. It’s the Accuser (Revelation 12:10) who says we must clean up our act and hide.
Friends, shame is not from God, and God is not disappointed in you for your struggles.
Jesus tells us quite the opposite: I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world (John 16:33). Jesus knew we would have struggles (physical and mental chronic pain included), but He promised to be with us amid them. He also told us there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). For in Christ, we are not condemned for our weaknesses but are covered in grace and love.
Contrary to many Christians’ beliefs, you can love Jesus and still suffer from anxiety and depression. It’s not because you’ve sinned, lack faith, or don’t participate in enough spiritual disciplines. Sometimes, it’s simply because you’re human.
JESUS UNDERSTANDS YOUR PAIN
While I wish I could tell you that every person will understand your pain, take back the hurtful things they said, and remove your shame, it isn’t likely. I can tell you that Jesus understands your pain, and He alone removes your shame.
On the night He was betrayed, Jesus was let down by His closest friends. Not only that, but He faced false accusations, unjust criticism, unfairness, misunderstanding, and mockery from the religious elite (Matthew 27:11-44). He faced physical and mental anguish none of us can fathom and was abandoned by His Father (Matthew 27:45-53). He saved us by His self-sacrifice and commitment to love us, even in the face of shame.
Knowing that Jesus understands your pain will not take it away—but it does validate what you’re experiencing. Instead of allowing prolonged pain to become shame, I encourage you to talk about it with God and those you trust. God is not disappointed in you for having chronic illness or mental and physical pain. In fact, He chose the things of this world that feel the weakest to shame the strong. If you need something beyond yourself, you are in the best place possible.
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION
- How has shame manifested in your life, particularly in relation to mental health or chronic illness?
- How can you remind yourself that your struggles (whether physical or mental) do not define your worth in God’s eyes?
- Reflect on a time when you felt misunderstood in your pain. How can the example of Jesus (who also faced shame and suffering) bring you comfort and healing today?
PRAYER
Dear God, today we come to You with our struggles and shame. We know that shame is not from You, but when people don’t understand our pain, the weight becomes a heavy burden to bear. Help us remember that Your yoke is easy, and Your burden is light. You don’t shame us for our struggles but encourage us to run to You with arms wide open. Help us release the shame we carry and come to know that You are not disappointed in us, but You are right here with us amid the struggles. Help us to find peace and healing in You. Amen.
