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Over the last decade, I have struggled to define my faith. Growing up in a Methodist church, I had a different view of what my relationship with God should look like. By the time I got to college, I didn’t know what to think. Everyone around me had a different view, denomination, or outlook on religion than I did. And to me, that was strange.
Looking back now, I know that when I got saved at eight years old, my faith was genuine. In a brief interaction with my dad at 2:30 in the morning, I knew that I wanted to enter into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. He was more than all the Bible stories I was raised on, but He was also deeply and intimately personal. He was my best friend, and I always wanted Him to be. I guess what I didn’t realize as a child, was that the dynamic of faith often changes as we grow.
As a Christian, I want to be transparent enough with my readers to tell them that I still struggle with my faith. But even more so, is the struggle I have being authentic with God. Because while I can write to all of you about the importance of being real, and sharing your bloody brokenness, I deeply struggle to be that way with my Creator.
In a sense of honest confession, I’m writing this post to wrestle with, and validate those struggles. It is my hope and prayer, that maybe someone else out there will be able to relate to and understand what I’m going through. To walk these growing pains with me.