Check out the featured post here to read the entire piece: https://www.ibelieve.com/health-beauty/depression-what-sitting-in-the-darkness-teaches-us-about-god.html
I have another confession to make.
One that’s real, and raw, and deep.
It gnaws at me to split open my heart, but still, something small within me often holds me back.
I don’t know the last time I was happy.
And by happy, I don’t mean temporary smiles for a slight period.
Perhaps the word I am looking for is joy.
I don’t remember the last time I had pure and authentic joy.
Not just a feeling of being “happy,” but something lasting and beyond.
My circumstances.
My health.
My mental state.
My anxiety.
My depression.
And quite frankly, I haven’t felt like myself for the last four to five years.
Joy eludes me.
It’s a best friend I used to have, but have felt no longer.
She moved away, and I don’t know why.
Oh, Lord, how can I find her again?
How can I find someone lost within me?
Are you still here?
Is anyone home?
I know that your spirit is within me, but where did you go?
The Comments
Kim
This made me think of Simon’s dark depression (and anger) in this last season of The Chosen. When He realizes Jesus IS truly right there with him in the midst of storm just waiting to rescue him, and he collapses in His embrace crying “Don’t let me go! Don’t let me go!”…..😭 that’s been me so many times. He is sovereign in the hard circumstances yet chooses to enter into them alongside us. We need to seek Him in the wind and waves, not just strain against the oars with our own strength and wisdom. He is there! I must keep my eyes fixed on Him or I’m sure to sink. ❤️
ambernginter
> KimOh wow, I need to watch that. I haven’t seen that episode yet! Thank you for the encouragement! Amen!
Kailyn
Loving, sensitive people frequently are prone to depression. Limit what negativity the world throws at you. Skip the daily news and instead watch various sermons online. Steven Furtick is a Pastor who is uplifting and personal.Google Elevation Church.It must be hard to deal with young people every day when you are feeling depressed. I’m praying for you.
ambernginter
> KailynThank you, Kailyn! Amen. I don’t watch the news and LOVE Steven Furtick/Elevation Church. He’s incredible. Thank you for the encouragement. The Lord strengthens me daily! Thank you for the prayers. I’m praying for you as well!