Judges 19:30: “Everyone who saw it was saying to one another, ‘Such a thing has never been seen or done, not since the day the Israelites came up out of Egypt. Just imagine! We must do something! So speak up’ ” (Judges 19:30, NIV)!

 Imagine the following situation in present-day American culture. A married man of high standing (say a Priest, Pastor, Government Official) decides to obtain a prostitute (one night stand, side partner, etc.) from Bethlehem in Judah. After paying for her and promising a better life, she cheats on the man and returns to her hometown. Four months later, however, the married man longs for his prostitute, so he goes back to retrieve her. Yet again promising a better life, the man bargains with her father and the two set off for Jerusalem.

 On the way to Jerusalem, however, something strange starts to occur. A servant of the man and his mistress expresses that he is exhausted from the journey. Asking if they can rest in the town with the Jebusites, the master replies it would not be wise to stay in an unfamiliar town. Longing to take a break, however, they compromise and decide to rest in Gibeah (a city of familiar kin) when an older man welcomes the pack into his home.

 As the older gentleman and master begin to settle in for the night, though, they are shocked when the Benajmites of the town begin to beat the door of the house down. “Bring out the man who came to your house so we can have sex with him,” they shout (Judges 19:22, NIV). And in a turn of events, with no discussion or questions asked, “Take my virgin daughter,” the elderly man replies. “No, here, take my concubine,” the established man remarks, pushing her out the door. Allowing her to be raped until morning, the master then tells her to get up, and when she doesn’t, he takes her body back home, cuts her into 12 pieces, and sends one piece to each tribe of Israel, remarking, “something needs to be done about this” (Judges 19:30, NLT) (#wellnoduh). 


 In the story of Judges, chapters 19-21 reveal a few crucial details that I pray we as a society avoid falling into today.  

 First, the people are in this messy predicament because they do not have a King, and are clearly not following God for their decisions. Instead, they are doing what they felt was right in their own eyes (#mistake#1; Judges 21:25, NLT) and even questioned what action to take. Second, however, is the utterly morbid view men had of women, along with the painful connection to human trafficking that directly correlates in our mainstream society.

 Painstakingly, Judges chapter 19, reveals a Levite choosing to take and possess a concubine, as well as the inferiority displaced towards women. When pressed with an evil issue (the men of the town wanting to sleep with him), it is then no surprise that he turns to prideful desire. Although concubines belonging to men were common during this time, the men of the city requesting to sleep with her master were not.  

 In fact, though the concubine belonged to her master, that did not rationalize the raping that lasted until daybreak, nor did it justify the older man offering his virgin daughter to the hungry mob of men (#yetboyswillbeboysringsadisgustingaftertone).

 In an evident proclamation of the objectification of women, the roles between men and women at this time were not respectfully mapped out. As a result, women were treated like last night’s leftovers rather than the top-chef meal at a five-star restaurant.  

 They were viewed as objects to be abused and used rather than people to be loved and cared for. 

  And excuse me for saying this, but isn’t a man to give up himself for his wife as Christ does for us as His Church (#ephesians5:25)? Isn’t a man to protect a woman like his first line of defense, not his last? Although the concubine wasn’t his wife, what felt right about throwing her out the door and non-verbally saying, “Here, rape her, so you don’t defile me”?

 To make matters worse, after the concubine is raped all night, she is then found dead (or almost dead; Hebrew and Greek translations have added this word for clarity) when her master chops up 12 pieces of her body and sends them to the tribes of Israel remarking, “Hey, this is a problem, what do we do”? Yet instead of explaining and fixing the issue, its solution is maculated.

 In Judges chapter 20, not only do the Israelites destroy the town the horrific rape occurred in, but they first choose to rely on God (Judges 20:18, NLT), only to look in their own eyes for advice after the victory (Judges 20:35, NLT). Through Judges 21, we thus see that though the Israelites turned to God for a split second, they then turn back to selfish desires. Feeling bad for the recent men of the town they wiped out, they decide to give 400 virgin brides to help repopulate the land. Yet when there are not enough women for every man, what do the people do?  They end up returning the crime of rape with a solution to rape.

 Paralleling a disturbingly similar act is the development of human trafficking in America today. A situation in which women are still not stood up for, or often promised a, “better life,” (Judges 19:1-4, NLT) only to be abused by anonymous men, and left nameless themselves as they are used like vending machines for sex alone, rooted in the desire of pleasure (Judges 19). A fulfillment of pride, lust, lies, and masturbation, because “just looking at porn” seems to fill a temporary void with a temporary solution (eternal problem) and minor consequences (major repercussions). And why?

 Because 1) the men they were supposed to trust, didn’t stand up for them (Judges 19:22-26, NLT), 2) the men treated them as objects to be used rather than people to be loved (Judges 19:26-28, NLT), 3) the view of these women was right in their own eyes (Judges 21:25, NLT), and 4) ultimately, this was a kingdom that though they often turned to God in need (Judges 20:35, NLT), their hearts and obedience were far from Him.

 Scary how much it sounds like our world today, isn’t it? Leaving readers to wonder what happens next, the Bible introduces us to the Book of Ruth, and perhaps a chapter of redemption. One where men and women share roles, treat each other with respect, and stand up for the value, integrity, health, and humanity of the other person. A lesson learned well that we should put into practice today.


 A little over nine and a half months ago, I started dating my first boyfriend for the second time, and never once has he made me question how I should be treated as a woman. He opens my doors without being asked, carries my stuff when I beg him not to, and goes out of his way to be a true gentleman. And how do I respond? “Oh, you don’t have to do that. Let me carry it. I can do it myself. Thank you, but I’m independent,” and so on and so forth.  

 I’ve grown up in a world where caring for yourself as a woman is a norm. Where opening your own door is more accustomed than letting a man hold it for you. Where guys wanting to date you for marriage and not sex are outdated. But newsflash, those guys still exist. Newsflash, you do deserve to be treated with that chivalry. Newsflash, you do deserve to let them be nice to you. Lightbulb, you do deserve to be treated like an equal!

 Though my boyfriend is not perfect (nor am I!), and he’s had his fair share of trials when it comes to viewing women as he should 100% of the time, he has not become a statistic, nor will he allow me to become one. 

Because 100% of the time, he treats me with respect and honor.  

He shows me love and compassion.  

He upholds the standards that Christ commands of men to protect women. 

He cares for me when I am broken.

And though we are not engaged or married, he fights for me when people/thoughts/lies/abusers come knocking on my door, no matter how badly they beg him to throw me out the door.  

For friends, that is how the right man of God, rather in friendship, relationship, or partnership, should treat you.

Not as a statistic.

Not as an object to be used.

Not as a status filler for their relationship profile on Facebook.

Not as a DM to slide into on Instagram.

Not as a defense mechanism against their own reputation.

But as men and women sharing roles equally, loving equally, helping, sharing, and caring with one another’s vulnerabilities, difficulties, and differences in grace, mercy, and love equally. 

As Christ does for His Church, the bride

As Christ does for us

As Christ does for you

As Christ does for me

Agape, Amber