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A recent look at global language patterns reveals that many speech quirks—hesitations like “um,” vocal fry, filler words, and pauses—aren’t random, but nearly universal.
Across languages and cultures, people hesitate or pause while speaking as their brains
work to access the right words and shape coherent sentences. These quirks reflect
something deeply human: the mind’s effort to translate thought into speech. Rather than
signifying insecurity or ignorance, these verbal tics are part of how we process and
communicate complex ideas under pressure. The findings invite us to listen with more
empathy, realizing that everyone carries the same internal process behind their words.
If the quirks of our speech reflect our shared human experience, how might this remind us to value humility, patience, and grace when communicating with others and with God?
A Universal and Cultural Insight
When I was in college, I had to take a public speaking course. I’ll never forget it for two reasons: 1. We had to give a memorized speech by the end of the semester without using any filler words, and 2. A girl was giving her speech and nearly passed out (that girl wasn’t me, thankfully).
Unlike the poor girl who was so overwhelmed by anxiety and fear that she fainted, I’ve always loved public speaking. It seems to come naturally to me, and I find joy in encouraging others. For most people, however, speaking in public spaces isn’t desirable, but a fear. Telling someone they can’t use filler words like “um,” or pauses, only makes their hatred grow.
The funny thing about these filler words and pauses, however, is that recent studies show they are normal attributes of public speaking. Most college professors won’t agree with that, but the studies are alarming. Linguist Valerie M. Fridland notes that “language is about how we encode both the linguistic message and social message. Crutch words are really valuable and have arisen to serve a need.” Encouraging hearers to listen for “you know,” “so,” and “um,” can actually help us relate to our audiences better.
A study by Harvard Business Review also notes that these words aren’t just useful, but necessary. According to Steven D. Cohen, we say these words because they make us real and human. Again, it’s because we are verbally thinking. Instead of saying them outloud, however, Cohen suggests this practice: Before you speak or respond to something, remember: pause, think, and then answer.
“It may feel unnatural to pause, especially since you have responded to questions right away for your entire life. I assure you that you will deliver more powerful responses and reduce your chance of using filler words if you give yourself time to think.”
What Speech Quirks Reveal About the Human Mind
No matter if you’d prefer to use these filler words or not, these speech quirks reveal quite a few things about the human mind.
First, pauses and filler words typically indicate that we’re processing in real time. If this bothers you, try pausing in silence. Sounds horrible, right? But I have a writing mentor who is a boss at this. When we ask him questions, he will often pause for 1-3 minutes at a time because he wants to give us a deep and well-thought-out answer. It goes against the grain, but it’s actually thoughtful and way more informed than those who quickly spew off the cuff.
Second, pauses and filler words often help us translate thought into language. If you’ve ever known what you want to say, but don’t know how to clearly communicate it, that’s what I’m talking about. It’s better to take your time, pause, and articulate your words than to say something you later regret.
While this isn’t always the case or required, we can learn a lot from these speech quirks that make us human. How so? Because they point us to how we should listen, and how we can listen well.
Listening Well
In Psalm 34:15, we see that God listens patiently. Anyone who has ever waited to hear from the Lord knows He’s not in a rush and will speak when it’s time. I like to believe this because just as God tells us to be careful and thoughtful with our words, He’s considerate and kind with His.
“The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right; His ears are open to their cries for help” (Psalm 34:15, NLT).
There’s also an immense value in humility and grace when we communicate carefully rather than spitting out what comes to our minds first. The power of pause or “um,” imitates what Psalm 141:3 encourages: “Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips” (NIV). Why? Because wise words bring blessings and benefits (Proverbs 12:14), but reckless words pierce the strongest hearts (Proverbs 12:18).
In James 1:19-27, there is a beautiful passage about being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Remember, God gave you one mouth, but two ears. Perhaps because He knew we’d struggle to hear well and respond better. But friends, God values your heart, not some perfectly polished words. Yes, He desires us to be mindful of what we say, but it’s all about the heart.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23, NIV).