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“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18, NIV).
It’s less than four days before Thanksgiving, but I feel more behind than when I started. From the moment my feet hit the floor, all I could think about was my mile-long to-do list, the person ringing my doorbell, and my goldendoodle, who was notifying us that he really needed to go to the bathroom. I wanted to be grateful and present. Focus on my Bible time and this week of giving thanks. Instead, I felt overwhelmed, exhausted, anxious, and heavy-hearted.
Can you relate?
Thanksgiving is a beautiful season. Fall leaves adorn us with their abundant colors. Cooler temperatures wrap us up in cozy sweatshirts, hot cocoa, and oodles of blankets. Long tables invite us to meal after meal of food, fellowship, and family. But amidst the noise and celebration, some of us feel tired, unnoticed, or anxious. Our hearts are grateful, but weary. Happy, yet sad. Excited to celebrate the season, but worn out before the day arrives.
If that’s you this week, praying something like, “God, I want to be thankful, but today feels heavy,” then you’re in good company. God doesn’t shame us for struggling; rather, gratitude grows in honest soil. Let me give you a practical example.
Many years ago, I felt like I had to be “fine” around others. It didn’t matter how much my home life crumbled, how badly I felt inside, or how deeply I longed to be seen and heard; I put up a facade. I feared what would happen if people saw how I was really doing. Then, one day, on the way home from college, God met me in the quiet. My mind was spinning a million miles a minute, but I unloaded it all to the Lord. I told Him I was tired of carrying this burden and keeping it hidden. I told Him I didn’t want to go on living this way. His answer shocked me: “I never asked you to.”
Friends, when gratitude feels hard (and even when it feels easy), God doesn’t ask us to pretend, put on a mask, or push down our feelings. Scripture tells us to be thankful in all circumstances, not for, but that requires us to be honest with God about how we’re actually doing. Authentic gratitude isn’t pretending or acting. There’s no reward for being the best “actor.” Rather, gratitude is noticing grace in small and fragile places. It’s asking God to purify your heart every morning and seeking Him with this question:
“Where can I see one small sign of your goodness today?”