Stop Saying “I’m Fine” And What the Church Can Do About It

Check out the featured post and read more here: https://www.ibelieve.com/christian-living/stop-saying-im-fine-the-silent-burnout-in-the-church-and-how-we-can-heal.html

Did you know that human beings say “I’m fine” an average of 14 times a week, but less than 19% actually mean it (Daily Mall)? Not only that, but according to psychologists, there are many problems with this phrase beyond untruthfulness. 

Dr. Barbara Greenberg, a clinical psychologist, notes, “While I understand that it’s perhaps an attempt to convince ourselves that we are okay, it just doesn’t work. It adds to depression because we are further burdened by carrying a secret and feeling misunderstood” (The Girlfriend). In a world where “I’m fine” has become a mask, what can we as the Church do to promote greater authenticity as the body of Christ?

Sadly, “I’m fine” has become one of the most lied-about sentences in Church lobbies. When someone asks, “How are you?” we’re quick to reply, “I’m fine.” But are we really? These few words have become camouflage for exhaustion, stress, and emotional overwhelm, and honestly, who can blame us? It’s easier to convince ourselves that’s how we feel and move on than to sit and unpack the chaos in our minds, right?

It’s a temporary fix for a deeper-rooted issue, and while it works for the moment, what happens when a whole generation is tired on the inside, but feels pressure to pretend they’re okay?

The Silent Burnout of Gen Z

According to a survey conducted by Seramount, 72% of Gen Zers experience at least one symptom of burnout, with 83% of Gen Z employees facing burnout. Not only are they reporting higher burnout rates than older generations, but their symptoms are pointing to a deeper issue: With rising anxiety, depression, chronic stress, doom-scrolling, fatigue, financial instability, relationship uncertainty, and global crises, “functional burnout” has become a state of living. 

“Functional burnout” technically functions. It works well, performing adequately, and even with flying colors on the outside. But on the inside, Gen Z is breaking. Why? Because their burnout is often directly linked to a desire for authenticity. They long to reject hustle culture, to seek genuine connections with those around them, but they struggle. How can they be their real selves in a world full of people who look “perfect”? How can they be authentic when such shame exists around mental health struggles?

As a result, “fine” feels safer than telling the truth. Even Christian cultures struggle with being “too much,” or “not enough.” Being too needy for fear of being labeled “anxious,” “weak,” or “lacking faith.” The tension between the faith we profess and the feelings we experience feels too heavy to handle. So, what can we do?

What We’ve Gotten Right and Wrong

First, let’s unpack the Church’s role and what we’ve got right and wrong. As a body of believers, Churches typically celebrate community, prayer, discipleship, and belonging. These are wonderful starts. But sadly, we all too often overspiritualize matters or offer unhelpful platitudes (“Give it to God”). We mean well, but when we aren’t trained in mental health, many present a harsh stigma towards things like counseling and medication. 

Here’s the good news: Churches don’t need to be perfect; they just need to care about those who are struggling. Churches don’t need to fix Gen Z; they just need to make space for real conversations. 

Are you up for the challenge?