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“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18, NIV).
It was the end of another long week. I knew I was burnt out, and yet, I just kept going. I ignored the warning signs of my body and those that my husband told me on repeat. And yet, I felt an innate desire to keep going. To push harder and faster despite my exhaustion.
Can you relate?
Sitting on my knees, I felt humiliated. God knew I was trying to do too much without breaks. So did I.
I think most of us define pride as a human emotion characterized by a feeling of satisfaction with one’s own achievements, qualities, or possessions. To some degree, pride can be good when we’re proud of an accomplishment or a child who excels at a soccer game.
But did you know pride can also be a seductive sin if we allow it to be? Like many attributes, it can quickly become more negative than positive. It makes us believe that we can and should do it all like Superman or Supergirl, when the reality is we’re still fallen human beings with limitations and boundaries. We were never created to do it all, but we often try to act like we were.
And so, we keep pushing and striving. Achieving and checking off the items on our to-do lists. But what about when we hit our breaking point? What about when we come face to face with defeat, that we’re utterly and completely worn out? That, my friends, is the difference between coming to God in our humility versus our humiliation.
Don’t get me wrong: God desires to hear from us when we’re burnt out and weary. He came to give us rest. But friends, He doesn’t want us to keep living like slave drivers to our very souls, obeying Inner Pharaohs that tell us we can never stop.
Every day, you and I have an opportunity to submit to God in humility or humiliation. From the beginning, we can say, “God, I don’t have this. I need you to take control. I will do my part, but I need you to do the rest.” Or, we can say, “God, I got this all under control. I’m going to do it all because I can and will. I’m superwoman.”
Realistically, we say the first and internalize the second. I don’t tell God I’m in control, but my actions prove otherwise. Maybe I’m not the only one to feel this way.
And yet, Jesus in His loving grace and mercy extends to us another one: acceptance rooted not in pride, but in surrender.