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The Hidden Weight: When High-Functioning Depression Goes Unseen
As someone who is high-functioning but also struggles with anxiety and depression, mental health conditions like these can often go unseen. Why? High-functioning individuals know how to get stuff done. They’re typically productive, high-strung, overachieving, and type-A individuals who live with their condition. And yet, they can still suffer deeply—myself included.
Inside, a script is playing in your mind: You’re strong. You’ve got it all together. You don’t need help from anyone else. You’re independent, successful, and crazy organized. But what if they only knew? What if they could see the anxiety and depression piled high and riddled within you? What if they could see how you really felt on the inside?
For those struggling with high-functioning depression, this type of living is normal. A smile hides the ache, but inside you’re breaking. I know this because it’s a road I’ve walked too many days to count. This is what it’s like to suffer quietly. So what is high-functioning depression?
What Is High-Functioning Depression?
Similar to high-functioning anxiety, individuals with high-functioning depression still function fairly well. From the outside, it appears that they have no problem completing daily tasks. This is where conditions like Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD/dysthymia) come into play—a mild, but long-term form of depression.
By definition, Dysthymia includes a low mood for at least two years. Common signs include: exhaustion, numbness, self-criticism, and difficulty enjoying life. While Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) involves more intense episodes of these symptoms, the pain for those suffering from high-functioning depression can still be just as debilitating.
Individuals with milder conditions of depression may appear high-functioning, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t still fighting difficult battles. And that’s exactly why it’s often missed or not taken seriously, even from within the Church.
Why It’s Often Missed—Even in the Church
Sadly, those who suffer from high-functioning anxiety and depression are high achievers. They mask their discomfort with productivity, but over time, the pressure to continually succeed and be put together turns into debilitating exhaustion.
Faith culture may praise “strength” while ignoring suffering, but this isn’t biblical. God cares about all of our emotions, and that includes physical and mental health conditions, as well as the side effects that often accompany both. Christians need to praise God, but it’s also okay to tell Him exactly how we’re feeling.
And that’s why I love the Psalms. In one line, we hear David sing to the Lord, but then express His innermost struggles and desires. There is a beautiful balance between reality and lament, and choosing to see God at work in the worst possible places of despair.
Instead of telling individuals with depression to “just pray more,” or “stop being lazy,” let’s learn to respond in love. Let’s learn to support them, offering a shoulder to cry on. Let’s ask them where they are, and not judge them for how they’re feeling.
The Danger of Spiritualizing Suffering
Beyond hurtful and harmful advice, however, there is an immense danger of spiritualizing suffering. Yes, God can and will bring good out of the chaos, but when someone is dealing with a wound, it is not the time to give that advice. Statements like “God will never give you more than you can handle” aren’t just harmful and unbiblical; they’re dismissing and invalidating.
The pressure to be “okay” in Christian spaces is indeed not okay. This generation needs Christian’s like you and me, willing to be real. They need heartfelt voices to stand for truth. Not ignoring the Gospel, but seeing their pain through the love Jesus gave us, even when He was suffering. If anyone knows what it’s like to be misunderstood and judged, it’s Jesus. That should bring us immense comfort.
In Matthew 11:28-30, this invitation from Jesus is to be honest. Look at the beautiful words here: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30, NIV).
Matthew 11:28 doesn’t say:
- Come to me, all you who are perfect.
- Come to me, all you who are mentally stable.
- Come to me, all you who are never depressed.
- Come to me, all you who are always cheery.
No, Matthew 11’s command is simply to come as we are to receive something we could never provide for ourselves.
