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What happens when you’re between the not yet and the no longer? When you’re stuck with where you’ve been and where you’re going? For years, I struggled with this tension. The tension of recognizing that I’m no longer where I was, but I’m still not where I want to be. Can you relate?
For five years, I was stuck in a career of teaching high school English. Even before my student teaching began, I wanted out. I knew this wasn’t my calling. My advisor and parents told me to give it a chance. My contract gave me no choice but to do just that. But instead of enjoying the season, I kept waiting for ‘real life,’ or my ‘real dreams,’ to start. Even now, as I wrestle with getting my first traditional book contract, I struggle to be content where I am.
I’m confident that God will fulfill this calling. I know and am certain that I will be an author. But instead of enjoying the journey, I often find myself stuck in the complacency of the in-between. Waiting for the next big thing. Wandering, waiting, and wondering if and when I’ll ever arrive in this new place. Have you ever been here?
Are You In A Wilderness Season?
I think God’s people, the Israelites, could relate. In Deuteronomy 2:7, we view a snapshot of Israel’s journey from slavery to redemption to receiving God’s Promised Land. But in between slavery and God’s Promised Land came the wilderness. The wilderness wasn’t a place of punishment, but preparation. A space where God formed, refined, and readied His people.
“The Lord your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands. He has watched over your journey through this vast wilderness. These forty years the Lord your God has been with you, and you have not lacked anything” (Deuteronomy 2:7, NIV).
Many times in my life, I’ve found myself in these vulnerable seasons. In these dry and wilderness-like middle grounds. Places where the heat is too hot, the circumstances are too overwhelming, and I grow incredibly famished, discouraged, and exhausted.
-When I waited for God to bring a Godly man into my life after 22 years of singleness.
-When I graduated from college, I got really sick and didn’t even know if I’d be able to hold a regular job.
-When I had to teach for five years, and felt like I would never get to write full-time.
-When I thought I was going to receive a publishing contract, I only received 16 rejections over a year.
From career transitions to relationships, you can see that wilderness seasons happen to all of us. We’re stuck between the past and the place promised to us. And honestly, this can bring up a lot of emotions. Confusion, doubt, and insecurity, to name a few. We wrestle with our expectations in comparison to what we found. But God is not slow in keeping His promises, and He keeps no one waiting unless it’s good for them to wait (2 Peter 3:9).
