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I started going to counseling when I was 23. Though I was apprehensive at first, it has truly transformed my life. God has worked through not only my therapist but the coping skills I’ve learned along the way. Now 6 years into therapy, I feel stronger mentally. I’m better equipped to deal with circumstances that occur, and I know how to regulate my nervous system. Nevertheless, there are a few concepts I still wrestle with daily. At the top of that list are my emotions.
Growing up in a chaotic household, I saw a full range of emotions. Sometimes in one day, I’d witness anger, laughter, bitterness, joy, despair, and sadness—in that order. I’ve always been a highly emotional person, but I knew that just meant I cared for things deeply. It wasn’t until recently, however, that I realized the importance of processing the emotions we feel.
As a Christian, I’d categorized my emotions as good or bad. I felt the good ones and shoved down the bad ones. My therapist told me that’s not how Jesus feels about our feelings. He told me that God not only cares about my emotions but wants me to learn to process all of them healthily.
If you struggle to process the things you feel every day, here are 3 tips that might help!
1. Redefine Your Emotions.
Somewhere along the path of being a highly emotional individual, I thought certain emotions were good (laughter, joy, excitement), and others were bad (anger, sadness, fear). The reality is that this belief isn’t true or biblical. If that were the case, our world would be even more messed up! People can express laughter, joy, or excitement and do bad things (especially if they aren’t walking in the Lord’s favor and direction). Likewise, however, people can express anger, sadness, or fear, and be the most committed Disciples to Jesus Christ.
Jesus created us as human beings. That means that from the beginning of time, we were hand-crafted with intelligence, emotion, and character. The distinction between “good” and “bad” emotions has been born out of a society that feels the need to cover up emotions that feel uncomfortable and display ones that feel good. But our emotions are not categorized in this way.
Redefining our emotions looks like realizing and understanding the value of our full range of emotions. Anger, sadness, fear, joy, laughter, and excitement aren’t “bad” or “good” in and of themselves. It’s what we do when we feel those emotions that can become sinful.
Ephesians 4:26 gives us a great example of this profound truth: “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” (NIV).
Realizing this truth helped me realize that I don’t need to be ashamed for feeling sad, anxious, bitter, or angry, but that it’s how I act and respond in those moments that matters most. God cares about us and our emotions—otherwise, why would He have given those feelings to us?
