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“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9, NIV).
Have you ever felt alone? Deeply and utterly alone? From high school into early college, I longed to be in a relationship with someone I could call mine. But as the years and birthday candles seemed to pass by, I felt defeated. I knew God had someone special for me, but I was growing weary. At twenty-two years old, I wasn’t just single, but I’d never been asked out or gone on a date.
Daily, I found myself asking my mom: “What’s wrong with me?” My lack of being in a relationship made me question not just my identity, but God’s plans for my life. Before I knew it, I was thinking heartbreaking thoughts.
I’m not pretty enough.
I’m not tall enough.
I’m not athletic enough.
I’m not good enough.
I’m going to be alone forever.
Are God’s plans for me still good?
Because as much as my mom, grandma, and best friend told me Prince Charming would be worth the wait, I couldn’t help but question and doubt the process. I knew God’s timing would be greater than mine, but yet, I still grew tired. Can you relate?
One day, my friend Anna pulled me aside after Chapel and said these words: “I think God wants you to surrender your singleness.” She was right. God had been speaking to me in this season, but was I really listening? Was I truly ready to lay down my desires in exchange for His?
That night, I went to Anna’s apartment and laid it all before the Lord. I wept. I complained. I rejoiced. But I told Him that if He wanted me to be single for the rest of my life, I was okay with that. I trusted His plans and timing were better than mine. I let it go. I moved on in pursuit of the things He was calling me to in that season.
