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Growing up, I used to think Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) was defined stereotypically. Washing my hands seven times, re-organizing the dishes a certain way, putting the pillows on my bed in a certain order, or hanging the clothes in my closet from darkest shade to lightest. I didn’t fit the criteria for diagnosed OCD, but when I met my husband, I quickly realized he did. It was a wake-up call I will never forget.
At first, I thought my husband-to-be just liked to be organized. Though his room was sometimes messy, he had his designated piles. A place for everything and everything in its place was his mantra. As we dated, however, I quickly realized his struggle with time. He was late to our dates, seemed to spend a really long time on simple tasks, and would take extensively long showers.
By the time we were engaged, I saw Ben’s struggle up close. While he would often wash his hands religiously, I was more concerned about watching him check that his car was locked five to seven times, or shutting the fridge door five times to make sure it was closed. It finally made sense—that’s where much of his time was going—obeying numerous compulsions in his mind.
Like Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), OCD is a form of anxiety. As my counselor says, anxiety has different flavors and those flavors are unique to every individual. Marrying someone who has GAD with someone who has OCD has presented its unique challenges, for sure. But here are 3 things I’ve learned about caring for someone who has OCD.
