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I used to believe the lie that I had to have everything together before I was capable of helping others.
As a teen, this wasn’t a huge issue. Hosting events, volunteering, and serving were synonymous with my last name. I didn’t realize how broken, fragmented, and crazy my life would get over the next decade.
By the time I graduated college, I felt utterly worthless. Getting diagnosed with 10+ mental and physical health conditions right out of school will do that to you. I’d always grown up around chaos and anxiety, but now the turmoil was within.
Daily, sometimes hourly, my mind spat vicious accusations:
“Do you really think you can help others when you can’t help yourself?”
“If you call yourself a Christian then why are you still anxious?”
“You are far too messed up and depressed to lead others to Jesus.”
“Your trauma will never serve a purpose.”
It’s as if I believed my brokenness disqualified me from obeying one of Christ’s greatest and most sacred commands:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these” (Mark 12:30-31, NIV).
