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I remember the day like yesterday. Heart pounding, ears ringing, and the world at my fingertips, I walked across the stage of my high school graduation. Yet, instead of being excited, I hid fear behind my smiling face. Gripping the fastened cap around my head and jamming the hundredth bobby pin into my hair, my mind began to pace with anxiety. Concern, specifically, about what Godâs Will was for my life.
Over the next few months, I knew I would be starting college, but I was terrified. I thought that Godâs Will was a dot, and if I didnât major in X, become Y, and do so by Z, I would be beyond His loving arms of protection. What I didnât realize is that our entire lives are a pursuit of the calling that He has placed within us. I failed to understand that God doesnât give us free will to box us in, but to provide us with the parameters of choice within His protective boundaries.
At the end of college, I am still trying to discern Godâs direction for my life. Though I majored in English for AYA Instruction and Biblical Studies, I have felt a firm calling to write full-time since I was 18. And at times, I often feel like a failure that I have not found a way to pursue this, regardless of the effort I express. I feel that I was made for so much more and long with a deep aching in my bones to write, serve, and love others.
Maybe like me, youâre frustrated with Godâs plan for your life, and your inability to be there right here, right now. But Godâs desire for even the greatest of aspirations He places on your life are not to be accomplished the second we snap our fingers, but the second we realize that they will be fulfilled in His due time of fruition.
Matthew 6:9 reminds us that even in our longings to figure life out, what we should want most is âHis kingdom come, and His will be done, on earth as it is in Heavenâ (Matthew 6:9, ESV). When we pursue that desire with our whole heart, He will provide the right path, in His time that aligns with that call.
Agape, Amber