Just a few days ago, I wasn’t feeling the greatest. Work was insane; my family lost three friends, and twelve explosions occurred between Monday and Friday of my typical week. I felt like a chicken with my head cut off, and as my anxiety, depression, overthinking, PMS, and IBS began to cycle, I felt as if I had lost all control. Writing the following in my journal, I realized that I had been spending way too much time grasping for power when, in reality, I needed to submit it to the one who holds all authority:
“God, you took me to the mountains, and now I feel like I am living them. Suddenly, I feel as if I have forgotten how to let go and let God. Because of these mountains, I once knew how to live in the freedom of uncertainty. Live in the freedom of the unknown, the freedom of letting you have control. But now, suddenly, I don’t know how. I fear not being able to control a single thing in my life. I fear these changes of life that keep picking up speed no matter how hard I try to slow down the speedometer. I wish I could remember how to live in the certainty of an uncertain life, praising, and serving an ever certain God.”
And we all face mountains, don’t we?
Anxiety? Check.
Depression? Check.
Suicide? Check.
Lust, Pride, Porn, and Sexual Temptation? Check.
Idolatry, Jealousy, Bitterness, Anger, and Envy? Check.
You fill in the ___________? Check.
In a variety of shapes, sizes, widths, and depths, they come to haunt us like ghosts in the night. Echoes that won’t leave us alone when all we long for is rest, peace, hope, and a moment without their existence. But you see, my friend, we can’t expect them to dissipate when we keep running straight back to them. We can’t expect them to disappear with the poof of a magician’s wand, or even God’s mighty hand when they are on our minds 24/7, consuming our worried mentality and grasping for all control. We shouldn’t assume that the things we are walking through, the heights we are scaling, will fall at the mention of our strength.
Yet you know what we can expect? That even when you or I am running, if we run to the Father, releasing every ounce of our control to Him, His strength will make those mountains move or fall. Just speaking His name into existence will make the demons shutter, as the wind and waves obey His name. His Word, given to us through the Holy Spirit and Scriptures, can bring us the peace we so desperately long. And above all, we can trust that He’s in control of our mountains, even when we keep running back to them, knowing we shouldn’t.
Exodus 14:14 states, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still” (Exodus 14:14, ERV). But how can we be ‘still’ if we are continually running to our mountains instead of to our God? We can’t.
This week, take the time to run. And though I love physically running and exercise, I don’t mean running inside or outside with your feet, but running in your heart.
Not to your mountains.
Not to your anxiety.
Not to your stress, work, anxiety, depression, or pride.
But running to the peace of Christ who will still your hills and valleys, no matter the strength of heights, you are trying to glide down on your own. Because on your own? You can’t do anything. You’ll keep running a race you’ll never win, and you’ll certainly never escape your mountains. But with Christ? He’s got this. He tells the mountains to jump, and they jump. And there is nothing saying He can’t do that for yours.
What ‘mountain’ are you facing today that you need to hand over to God? I’d love to hear from you and pray over your needs.
It’s a daily practice, but it’s one I’m willing to pursue, even when I’m running. Are you?
Agape,
Amber